You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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