You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Randomize
