Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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