the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
