It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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