im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
