i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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