I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
