i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
