Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Randomize
