He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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