I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
We have so much sex to catch up on
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
