I'm laying in your front yard are you home
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
