If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Sorry my hands just texted you
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
