I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize