honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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