U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
