Sponge bath it is.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
