Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
