haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
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