I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
