I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
