So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
