I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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