I want to stick my p in your. b.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
