Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
