now i know why i became what i already was.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
