Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
