that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
