So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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