is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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