LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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