You really coming over, don't trick.
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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