I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
