found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
