How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Randomize