I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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