Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
