Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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