She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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