There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
