Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Damn victory sex feels great
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
