He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
