we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
