So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
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