oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Randomize
