I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
