areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
