Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Randomize