I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
