you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
