I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
