He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
