my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
