Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
