I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize