Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
