so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
