YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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