I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
