watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
