Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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