The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
